Leaving 2020 Behind

Finally leaving this year behind. I want to reflect on what has happened… the good, the bad and the ugly.

This year has been full of ups and downs. Moments I have loved and moments I wish wouldn’t have happened. I obviously will not re-live all of these moments with you but some things I am concentrating on right now.

So for reference, here is what I wanted to work on this year

First reaction…. laughter

I want to make sure my family is really living… not stuck in the house…. I feel like I might be to blame for Covid….

Ok so…. literally nothing was accomplished on this list because CORONAVIRUS!!

Well… I can’t say that. I did actually read ALOT more than I have in the last 5 years; by which I mean listened to an audiobook OR actually read them. And I really enjoyed getting excited about what was going to happen to the character next, I love the anticipation that a good book can create! I will be continuing that into the new year.

But I basically failed at everything else.

In my high moments, I started homeschooling and honestly I love it! Yeah its stressful and there are rough moments but I love teaching my kids. We have spent A LOT of time together this year. The 4 (mostly the 3 of us, but the baby helps) of us have done some pretty fun experiments, like making a cloud in a jar or growing crystals. We have spent more time together outside then we have spent in a LONG time. Basically those are my good moments, our family time. We have really come together/bonded.

I tried making YouTube videos. I stopped because I have too much on my plate… but I tried!

These are dollar store crafts I made!

I started getting more of my projects done around the house, trying to make this place feel like home.

I threw some awesome birthday parties. Got really creative with decorations.

I took LOTS of pictures. I really do enjoy my photography hobby. I got to see the sunrise over the beach twice this year!

We went to the beach more this year. I need the salt air in my life, it cleanses my emotional palate and gives me a fresh outlook on life.

In my low moments… well both my grandmother’s died this year and I’m still healing.

My depression/anxiety has been at an all time high. I have not been in a good place mentally this year for so many reasons. I feel like most of us have been in a dark place for a least a little bit this year.

I gained 20lbs this year, I am heading into 2021 weighing more than I have ever weighed. My confidence is almost non-existent and my self hatred is at an all time high. I am stuck in this rut where I start to work out but get injured due to my weight and then stop working out to heal, get depressed because I can’t workout and then binge eat ANYTHING.

Throwback to when I was feeling myself
I am hoping to do more 5ks this year

Even my marriage has had some tribulations that I was not expecting. But we are going to be just fine!

So going into 2021 I am not going to list resolutions or goals. Going into this year I am creating a mantra….

Be better.

Be better about being nicer to myself

Be better about taking care of myself

Be better about putting my mental/emotional/physical health first

Be better at acknowledging what I get done and not focusing on what I didn’t.

Be better at taking compliments AND believing them

Be better about believing I am loved more than I am hated.

Be better about asking for help and demanding it if necessary.

Be better about remembering what life has already thrown at me because I survived it all.

So going into 2021 I am hopeful for a better year, a better me!!

Are you making resolutions this year??

Author: bonniemalicki

I am a re-married mom of 3 kids, 2 cats and 5 rats!! I have started an art business with my mom, I am a part time dog and baby sitter. My husband and I just bought a house and we are figuring out homeownership, marriage and parenting a baby (again for me... it's been awhile) together. This blog is just for fun to talk about our journey; the trials and tribulations of everything we have going on!

2 thoughts on “Leaving 2020 Behind”

  1. Wow what a great introspection of yourself and last year. I like your approach to 2021 because you are wonderful, fun and bring so much joy into my son’s life, his majestic wife. You have been a wonderful addition to our family and I so enjoy our time and talks together. The more I get to know you the more I admire what you accomplish everyday. Your children are wonderful, well behaved and obviously come from a loving family. My son is the happiest he’s ever been and I have you to thank. Yo are so creative. Just ask any of my friends who admire the coasters you made, the wall hangings outside of the resin picture you did for me. So take all of my thoughts about you, put them in your pocket and whenever you want to criticize yourself realize what a gift you are to us and the world. My wish for you for 2021 is you will learn to be kinder to yourself. U R THE BEST!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much! I’m in happy tears right now, I love and appreciate you and everything you do for me/us. Thank you for your kind words and I will keep them in my pocket for anytime I doubt myself.

      Like

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