So I have never posted on here before but I have always spoke with my wife about supporting her in all of her endeavors so lets jump into the deep end, swimsuit tied and floaties left quite securely in the pool bag. Don’t worry that will probably be the only swimming reference you’ll get from me. I’m not entirely certain but we’ll see where the words take us!
I never really realized growing up what it actually meant to be a parent let alone step parent. After meeting my wife and her amazing kids I was still a bit lost and honestly the stigma to it all is a bit daunting. I personally felt very lost and confused when trying to find my place in the family dynamic and it took me a bit of time. Am I the stern parent, am I the loving playful one, do I cry when they do, am I stoic and steadfast, do I steal their cookies when they aren’t looking because Oreo’s are god’s gift to earth and the fact that my wife refuse’s to buy me a separate box (trying to be healthy) means I can never have them to myself which honestly just unfair……. Moving on……
I searched for a few hours online trying to find things that would help me in this, and there are books and information out there for everyone, New Dads, New Moms, Teenagers, there is even an entire series of books for dummies that can teach you a basic understanding of just about anything not to mention a slew of information on youtube and so many other places. All of it felt a bit distant and I didn’t really know what worked for me.
I’ll be honest:
IT WAS TOUGH.
Where do I find the owner’s manual, is there a guide book I can find online for this and please someone give me the cheat codes to make my daughter stop rolling her eyes so hard her heads gonna fall off. I will say that’s the one thing I embraced before anything else. I grew up in a divorced household where my parents treated me and my brother amazingly. Both parent’s did everything they could to be in our lives and that’s what I want for our kids.
What that meant to me was if our son wants to play with his LEGO sets… you better believe I was there with him building them. If my daughter wants to paint my nails… you better believe I’m going to work with the most glitter covered toe nails you’d ever see. If my son wants to play Minecraft… we are gonna marathon that until we slay the Ender Dragon. And when my daughter wants to see if she can cover my head (beard included) with bows… you best believe that’s gonna happen.
So I guess in the grand scheme of things it really comes to this:
I’m a step-dad because I am not their biological dad, I’m their partner in their games, and I’m their dress up doll when they want to try new styles. I’m stern when it’s bed time, I’m loving when they are sad. I love watching them succeed and I’ll always pick them up when they fail. I wasn’t there from the beginning but I’ll be there until my end.
So as the new terminology takes hold I guess I’m a Bonus Dad after all.
P.S. Majestic Glorious Wife can I please have some Oreo’s