Prioritize

I haven’t posted in almost 2 weeks. I have felt a bit overwhelmed and the first things I stop are my creative outlets (which I don’t recommend). When the house is gross and the kids are acting up and the husband walks around with blinders “not seeing” the problems, the last thing I “feel” is being creative.

I haven’t had the energy to do much beyond the necessary, just smile and wave boys… smile and wave.

There is evidence all over the house of things I have attempted to do or clean. The floor streamer in the living room, broom in the dining room, contents of our homeschooling cabinet littered all over because I was going to organize.

That being said I have been spending more time with the kids. We went to the state museum, we’ve been to the park a couple of times and generally we are spending more time outside.

Fell asleep on the way to the park
Throwing paint at canvas
Met a friend at the museum

So life isn’t terrible and I am prioritizing the kids, it gets me through even the worst bout. Sometimes everything gets to be too much and you have to step back and remember what really matters.

I hope you are all well!

How You Doin….

So I am going to do a life update, I feel like a lot has happened since the beginning of March. Matt and I joined a gym transformation challenge. Its 6 weeks, you need to attend at least 4 workouts a week and the workouts are 50mins. They have childcare, which is completely neccessary for me. The workouts are INTENSE but amazing! I have really been enjoying putting in the work.

My husband actually joined the challenge as well! Super proud of him for jumping in with me. Of course, I’m also jealous because he has been having better results than me… despite the fact that I work out more often, constantly on my feet during the day and I eat better. It’s fine, I’m fine…

Just a normal day….

Adding to the working out, I have also been walking. I have done 3 official 5ks so far this year and I have earned medals for walking a certain distance in a certain amount of time

My medals so far this year!

I am super excited to say that we are going to the Vincent Van Gogh exhibit that is working it’s way around the US.

I am and have been obsessed with Vincent Van Gogh for a really long time, particularly Starry Night (basic, I know). But I can’t help it… I have Starry Night leggings, shoes and decor in my house

This is just a taste

Also, one of my besties is coming to the show with us, so that makes it even more special.

She is my cheerleader, always has my back!

In more exciting news, our library has opened back up!! It has been closed for renovations for over a year. And I am happy to say it’s been open for a couple of weeks and we have already been twice.

Some of my current obsessions I am learning about! Matt and I are watching Vikings right now and the show has definitely sparked an interest in learning more.

Well, I think that is all my life right now. I hope everyone is safe and thriving!

Leaving 2020 Behind

Finally leaving this year behind. I want to reflect on what has happened… the good, the bad and the ugly.

This year has been full of ups and downs. Moments I have loved and moments I wish wouldn’t have happened. I obviously will not re-live all of these moments with you but some things I am concentrating on right now.

So for reference, here is what I wanted to work on this year

First reaction…. laughter

I want to make sure my family is really living… not stuck in the house…. I feel like I might be to blame for Covid….

Ok so…. literally nothing was accomplished on this list because CORONAVIRUS!!

Well… I can’t say that. I did actually read ALOT more than I have in the last 5 years; by which I mean listened to an audiobook OR actually read them. And I really enjoyed getting excited about what was going to happen to the character next, I love the anticipation that a good book can create! I will be continuing that into the new year.

But I basically failed at everything else.

In my high moments, I started homeschooling and honestly I love it! Yeah its stressful and there are rough moments but I love teaching my kids. We have spent A LOT of time together this year. The 4 (mostly the 3 of us, but the baby helps) of us have done some pretty fun experiments, like making a cloud in a jar or growing crystals. We have spent more time together outside then we have spent in a LONG time. Basically those are my good moments, our family time. We have really come together/bonded.

I tried making YouTube videos. I stopped because I have too much on my plate… but I tried!

These are dollar store crafts I made!

I started getting more of my projects done around the house, trying to make this place feel like home.

I threw some awesome birthday parties. Got really creative with decorations.

I took LOTS of pictures. I really do enjoy my photography hobby. I got to see the sunrise over the beach twice this year!

We went to the beach more this year. I need the salt air in my life, it cleanses my emotional palate and gives me a fresh outlook on life.

In my low moments… well both my grandmother’s died this year and I’m still healing.

My depression/anxiety has been at an all time high. I have not been in a good place mentally this year for so many reasons. I feel like most of us have been in a dark place for a least a little bit this year.

I gained 20lbs this year, I am heading into 2021 weighing more than I have ever weighed. My confidence is almost non-existent and my self hatred is at an all time high. I am stuck in this rut where I start to work out but get injured due to my weight and then stop working out to heal, get depressed because I can’t workout and then binge eat ANYTHING.

Throwback to when I was feeling myself
I am hoping to do more 5ks this year

Even my marriage has had some tribulations that I was not expecting. But we are going to be just fine!

So going into 2021 I am not going to list resolutions or goals. Going into this year I am creating a mantra….

Be better.

Be better about being nicer to myself

Be better about taking care of myself

Be better about putting my mental/emotional/physical health first

Be better at acknowledging what I get done and not focusing on what I didn’t.

Be better at taking compliments AND believing them

Be better about believing I am loved more than I am hated.

Be better about asking for help and demanding it if necessary.

Be better about remembering what life has already thrown at me because I survived it all.

So going into 2021 I am hopeful for a better year, a better me!!

Are you making resolutions this year??

This Week

I’ve been watching the Sex and the City movies the last few days. It takes me more than one day to finish them because I have kids and they are SUPER inappropriate. I have to stop them every time the kids come in the room.

It’s 7am and no body is awake yet! That is basically unheard of in this.  house, all 3 kids are early risers.

Usually I use this time to clean because I have 3 kids and my house is always a mess, but today I decided to give myself a break. I’m eating Fruity Pebble knock offs and I’m watching an adult movie that I don’t have to pause every 5 minutes…

There is heaven on Earth.

I kid, lol. I probably gained 5 lbs from one bowl of cereal and my house is still a mess so not really heaven.

This week is a typical one, school, organized playdates, lyra, judo/jujitsu/kickboxing, laundry, cleaning, cooking, scheduling doctor’s appointments, finishing a piece for a customer and all the other things I add to my life unnecessarily. And all of these are done on broken toes. 3 broken toes.

Yeah… 3 on two feet. Long story short, I rebroke the toes that I broke this summer and then broke a toe on my other foot by trying to protect my already broken toes and dropping a heavy metal object on ANOTHER toe. And let me tell you what… they HURT. They hurt more this time than they did last time.

Some of the unnecessary things I have added to my list, my DIY Halloween decorations and a blog about them, we make crafts for a hospice(this is extra but in my opinion necessary), NaNoWriMo(but I LOVE IT) and walking a 5k… plans were made before my toes decided to look like pudding, and VOTING!!

These are some of the things I have added to my plate and though they are not actually necessary, I WANT to do them.

The problem that I face is because I WANT to do them they get pushed back to the background OR what I have done this week ignore some of the things like cleaning to do them. I don’t have enough time in my life, haha.

Making a ghost with cheesecloth
A different way to make a ghost
Cute crafts
My customers piece
Trying to make hot chocolate bombs!
Performed my civic duty

I said duty…

Have a great weekend! What do you guys have planned

I have been neutered!

So after my wife and I had our third child we took a look at our lives and realized there was nothing left to do.  We had reached that perfect level, our amazing family of four was complimented by adding our wildest and probably most rambunctious little one.

We sat and had a long…

looooooooooooong…

loooooooooooooooooooong…talk.

When I say long talk it was basically “alright we had Tobias that’s it we’re done.”

So the next step was to ensure we didn’t add more skin babies to the family and thus we come to a story of me getting snipped. The snipping of 2020 as it shall be known.

So Thursday I had my appointment to get the vasectomy done. I took a valium about an hour before the procedure. My majestic wife drove me to the office and back I went.

Waiting in the lobby

I was not expecting the feeling in my stomach, as most guys know any hit, punch, accidental tug makes your stomach turn. Well even with being numb down there you can 100% feel it in your stomach and when he tugged I almost threw up! Stronger stomach prevailed and I was good after that.

The recovery hasn’t been bad but I was extremely sore and passed out right at around 7 last night and didn’t wake up until about 7:40 this morning when my wife came to check on me.

So now I’m sitting on the couch, watching the first Cars movie with my youngest before my wife starts the errands. So I’m planning on doing some writing while I recover and maybe one or two updates since cant really do much.

My wife asked if I needed anything while she was out;Of course I asked for ice cream. She wanted to know what flavor I said it didnt matter it was for my balls. <—— name that movie!! (line might not be exactly the same)

So see you guys soon and remember always spay and neuter!!!

Things are changing

Some things are changing, but I’m hoping it’s all for the better!

Once a month I am going to be releasing a Sleuth Saturday blog to talk about the latest Sherlock Holmes story I have read/listened to.

I am going to be a VIPKID teacher soon, teaching kids in different countries English. I want to financially contribute to our family’s budget and I think the hours will work with my “mom schedule.” I will be blogging about my classroom and what my workday looks like. I’m pretty excited.

Homeschooling is a huge part of my life now, teaching my 2 oldest and entertaining a toddler. My big kids could not be more different, so I’ll definitely be blogging about teaching styles. Also, I have tons of cheap/free resources I would love to share. Homeschooling a child with ADHD and learning disabilities will definitely be an upcoming blog.

I want to post some open and honest blogs about marriage with kids, especially being a combined household. Sometimes lines are iffy and boundaries that need to be respected. Marriage is stressful on it’s own, I want to share some cheap and fun ways to keep it fresh.

I am getting rid of my YouTube channel, it’s just too much right now. I need to focus my energies. But I am still a crafter and a DIYer, so instead of videos I’ll be blogging about them.

I am still working on the business with my mom, we have kind if taken a break to rebrand ourselves. I will definitely be blogging about L&M Unique Creations.

Finally I have become an Amazon Affiliate and when I blog certain things I will include links to what I have purchased. If you use my link towards a purchase I will get a small percentage of the sale. This will be posted on any blog that I use my link.

I think that is about it, we are coming into my favorite months of the year and I am very excited to share blogs with you!!!

June 15th

I was scanning my Facebook memories, as I do each day, but this day was different.

Apparently June 15th I feel compelled to upload a selfie roughly every 2 years.

A five year history of me

I started looking at the pictures and thinking about the different things happening in my life at each point.

June 2015- I was almost 2 yrs out of my first marriage and I had tried dating for the first time that year… it didn’t go well. I was exercising about 5 days a week, 30lbs down from 2 yrs prior. I was working a job that I loved. I wore makeup….I was feeling myself!  My life was about to change drastically though and it would propel me into the life I’m living now.

June 2017- I was living in a new state, at a new store, now a POG team lead.  I had gained ALL 30lbs back and more. I was dating my now husband and we were about to move in together. I loved my job, but the position was about to disappear and I was TIRED constantly.

June 2019- I am married again, a new homeowner and I had a baby back in January. I am getting barely any sleep, can’t even open my eyes completely and about 10 min after this picture is taken I am told how lazy of a mom I am (by my daughter) because I don’t want to take the kids to the pool. Mom guilt pushed me and my terrible self esteem to squeeze my fat ass into a swimsuit. It wasn’t a fun day for me at all.

June 2020…. where do I even start??? Ignoring the world around me that’s burning down. I’m actually doing well. I’ve gotten serious about losing ALL the weight over gained. Mentally I have great days and terrible days but I’m recovering faster than ever. I have an amazing support group and I feel strong. I’m remembering my self worth comes from me and I am not letting anyone’s hurtful actions ruin that again! I am doing this for me.

I’m going to be pushing myself to work on my business, I am hoping to start gaining some financial independence while being at home with the kids. We are homeschooling this upcoming year and I am excited for this new challenge. Getting out of my comfort zone to better my kids.

Do you ever reflect on your past and how it has brought you to where you are now? Do you still have hope for 2020, or have you given up??

Goodbye to my independence

I said goodbye to my car yesterday. I cried hard about it too. Which I know for some may be really strange but this car meant a lot to me.

She’s all cleaned out and ready to go

When I left my first husband it was not a mutual parting. I had my kids, some clothes and very little else. The car I did have had to be scrapped.

I was starting a new life with nothing of my own. I moved back in with my parents, got a job and started saving. The pride of having a job was great, but I still had nothing of my own. I was using my mom’s car to go to work. If I wanted to go anywhere else I had to ask my mother’s permission to use her car… I was 30…

Fast forward about 9 months and I got this beauty.

Her first picture as mine!

The kids and I took this car to museums, the mall, the movies. We had adventures and personal Frozen concerts. We took trips to see my Nanny.

It’s just a car to a lot of people but for me, it was personal pride and independence. I felt better about myself and I felt I was a better example for my kids.

I loved her. The memories we made in that car will not soon be forgotten.

With that I have to say what I always say in these situations.

That’ll do pig….

Birthday Parties Bring Out My Creative side

My son’s birthday party was last weekend, it was minecraft themed once again.

If you have kids or throw parties ever, you know they can get pricey.

I go NUTS for my kids birthday parties, growing up I always knew I would and I have.

But when you are a single mom or a household with one income sometimes things aren’t as easy to get done.

For me, that is when crafty mommy steps in.

I’ve gotten compliments on my parties so I thought I would explain my process and dish out some money saving tips.

My planning for the parties starts MONTHS in advance, so A. I can buy things as I can afford them and B. Mostly A…

I spend a lot of time on Pinterest getting ideas and taking notes, I write lists of things I need and things I need to do. I create a timeline, its intense… and literally NEVER goes to plan. But my anxiety loves the plans.

I buy supplies from Amazon, Walmart and the Dollar Tree and sometimes that is where I get my inspiration. Decorations do not have to be expensive

Those fairies are construction paper

I got branches from outside, spray painted and glittered them. I made thr fairies out of clothespins and flowers from the dollar tree. The flowers are cut up toilet paper rings stuck together. Great centerpiece and super cheap!

Black construction paper, with yellow paint pens to make the signs. Black tablecloth and star ceiling decorations from the dollar store. Kids had a blast posing in front of it for pictures!

Bandanas, when you can find them, are only $.50 at Walmart and I made the telescopes with toilet paper rolls. The kids each got one.

Minecraft

The pièce de résistance is my daughter’s Frozen party. I owe my mom everything for this party. She had the puffs in the garage and the snowflakes hanging off the ceiling are actually stickers we got clearance after Christmas. Her dress is actually a flower girl’s dress I got at a thrift store and mom dyed it and added some additional details. She also drew the Olaf free hand.

I absolutely love my kids and celebrating their birthdays! If I had a perfect career it would be Birthday party planning! But only for kids!!