Losing Part of Myself

Well, if I’m being honest I’m trying to lose about 50lbs of myself…

So I had a baby in January. In the beginning of the pregnancy I was 193lbs(the heaviest I’ve ever been) and a week before birth I was 196lbs. SUPER exciting stuff, I only gained 3lbs!!!

Not so much.

I had the worst morning sickness for 20 weeks and I actually lost 10lbs, the most weight I’ve lost in awhile. But after the morning sickness went away I gained all the weight back plus 3lbs.

When I went to the doctor after having the baby I was 187lbs. I honestly looked awesome and felt great too. I went to Goodwill and bought pants in a smaller size then before pregnancy. I kept it off for 3 months and then breastfeeding munchies hit me hard.

I know this doesn’t affect everyone but I know that some women(like myself) suffer from super sugary munchies and it’s almost never enough. So I went from being 187lbs to 206lbs… my new heavy.

Enter a level of depression I haven’t seen in awhile. I felt disgusting and I looked it as well, nothing fit and even when I got something zipped up I looked like over stuffed sausage.

My husband tried to make me feel better and attractive but it doesn’t matter what other people think of me, just me.

So after a few months of this, I decided to try to lose weight. We don’t have a lot of extra money so a gym membership is out of question, plus not all gyms have childcare.

I started researching, I LOVE to research, and I came up with a game plan. I found an exercise group of moms and I could bring the baby.

NEM—No Excuse Moms

I also discovered intermittent fasting. Since most of my fat problem is in my belly the answer for me would have to be diet.

So I started my odyssey with dieting. When you start intermittent fasting you need to do it slowly, well I needed to. I got really dizzy and bad headaches. I started with a 12:12 ratio and I worked my way to a 16:8 ratio, which means I eat for 8 hours and fast for 12. It seemed daunting when I first started, I am a muncher. I eat when I’m sad, happy, bored, tired(especially tired) so basically I was eating constantly and it felt like I was starving myself when I started the diet.

I also found a calorie calculator to watch my calories. With breastfeeding you need to take in an extra 300-500 calories, so that was factored in.

I did the diet for about a month, slowly limiting the hours I was eating and adjusting myself. I then added exercise. I did not lose any weight with dieting, but I did feel better, and I lost an inch off my stomach.

So after I get used to the fasting and reduced calories I joined the mom’s group. They met twice a week and it was different workouts each time.

They hosted a weightloss challenge starting in August. The winner would get money. Long story short, I didn’t win, but I lost 6lbs in 2 months and I was/am extremely proud of myself.

The group

23/23ish

So obviously I’m not done. I’m at 196lbs and I need to get to 150lbs.

A picture is worth 1000 words

Hopefully I didn’t scare away my 4 followers.

So I am not a sad person, I suffer from depression and anxiety BUT I’m not sad. Reading through my posts these past few weeks makes me seem like a sad, kind of (really) whiny/bitchy type. I can be this way Fo Sho… but in general, I’m happy. I think that I have had a lot on my plate and with the new baby, house and marriage I’m struggling with ME.

I’ve been doing better about setting time aside to work on the behind the scenes part of my business, reading books on marketing and creating a successful business… stuff like that

I even made that bookmark… I know, its awesome! And I have actually been taking pictures again. I have actually always enjoyed being behind the camera. When I was in high school, my family lived on Okinawa, Japan. My parents would drag us around the island to see the sights and the history; I usually got to capture the moments with my parents MASSIVE digital camera that used floppy discs (yeah, I’m THAT old). I took videos and made deep I insightful commentary on what we were doing (my dad would threaten to take the camera away and I would stop). I really enjoyed that. Whenever we went on family vacations or whatever, I took pictures. I discovered the “selfie” one day and stopped taking pictures of other things…. until I had my babies, then I had to capture all those moments. With the advent of smart phones with pretty good cameras I put down the physical camera and just used the super portable thing I was taking anways.

I was given advice by my family photographer (you don’t have one of those??)

Mia Rose Photography

She takes pretty great pictures!! Anyway, she was giving me advice for pictures of my products. So for the first time in at least a year, I took my real camera out of the bag. The feel of the camera in my hand and the strap around my neck (I am SUPER clumsy) felt amazing!! It just felt natural and some of the pictures turned out really nice!!

Here’s a screenshot because they are actually saved on my computer, not my phone. Honestly, the screenshot doesn’t do it justice. But anywhoser… I loved having the camera in my hands again.

I actually got a free Nikon N50 from a Facebook resale page. It takes film so I have been working on my photography again, kind of old school style. I will be taking 2 rolls of film to be developed on Monday and I am really hoping they turn out well, but either way, I am having fun capturing moments and that is all that matters.

So that is my non-depressive blog post. Stay tuned for another whiny one soon!! Hopefully I didn’t scare away my 4 followers.