Tiger Dog

He loved me and only me

I cleaned out my rats cage today! This is a chore, especially since I have 5 rats!! Yes… you read that correctly. FIVE.

I also have 2 cats.

This time last year, I had a dog. We don’t have him anymore and this makes me really sad. Not because we don’t have a dog, but how we had to give him away. I’ve felt guilty about it for 10 months. We adopted him, like you should do because there are too many dogs in this world, but it wasn’t a happy ending for anyone. He was fine at first, some separation anxiety (severe anxiety) which lead to destruction of our rental. But the biting is what ended our relationship. He bit my daughter in the face and my son on the shoulder. He tried to bite my husband in his face and on the same day attacked 3 dogs and 2 more people. All of this occured and we gave him away and I still feel guilty. I tried so hard, training, vet visits for anxiety medicine, doggie day care for exercise. He loved me and only me. He wanted to just be mine, but I couldn’t be just his mom. I had 2 kids, who he hurt, and a baby on the way. I had to put them first.

I’m sorry Khan. My beautiful tiger dog. I miss you.

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Change of Plans

Part of my problem with this blog is I try to plan ahead, I want to be ahead of the game. I know there is nothing wrong with being prepared; if you fail to plan then you plan to fail. The problem I have with planning is I feel forced to finish the blog I started because I planned it out.

Part of my problem with this blog is I try to plan ahead, I want to be ahead of the game. I know there is nothing wrong with being prepared; if you fail to plan then you plan to fail. The problem I have with planning is I feel forced to finish the blog I started because I planned it out. So for example I have been working on a wedding blog since I posted my last one and I have written only a paragraph… in three days only a paragraph so clearly I am failing. I think I put pressure on myself when I plan out my blogs instead of just writing how I am feeling at the time.

Today I am feeling very pregnant. I am only 15 weeks pregnant but with it being my third kid AND being fat before I got pregnant my body seems like it is falling apart. The first few weeks were filled with the normal exhaustion and nausea. As the weeks have gone on though, there has been some additional pain, bleeding and some crazy “morning sickness”. Some of the pain has been a ripping feeling in the front of my stomach and that leaves me crying when that happens. I have had sciatic pain since my first pregnancy and it affects my hips and they are already sore because they are widening. So when they start acting up it becomes difficult to walk and it again is very painful. My morning sickness has been getting worse everyday. I am vomiting almost daily up to 3 times a day and it takes the most out of me. I am so tired and out of it, so tired and out of it that I was asked to take a LOA because I really couldn’t do my job very well.

So I have been at home for almost 2 weeks trying to get better and that has not worked. I have had to stop eating basically to stop the puking. I am surviving mostly on Gatorade and salad, and I have only puked that up once. I still can’t eat until about 11am without vomiting and even then its a 70/30 chance. I have talked to the doctor about all of this and apparently it is all normal because I am spending so much time leaning over the toilet.

Well the bad has not overshadowed the good. We are still super excited about the baby, we are planning on telling people at the wedding. I have an announcement planned with the kids, we are doing a Nightmare Before Christmas theme. We are going to put the kids in shirts that say “Oldest Nightmare” for Brian and “Middle Nightmare” for Kenzie and a baby shirt that says “Newest Nightmare expected Feb 2019”. The gender reveal colors are lime green and purple, obviously green for a boy and purple for a girl. We find out the week after we come back from the honeymoon.

I can not wait!!