Keeping “you”rself in motherhood

A post has caught my attention on Facebook. It is about a mom who finally has some free time without husband or kids and she doesn’t know what to do with herself.

What is fun to a mom?

Mothers tend to make ourselves martyrs. It is a harsh truth, but it is a truth none the less. We spend our entire life taking care of others and barely give ourselves 5 minutes of free time. It is “expected” of us, sort of… but not really.

We, as mothers tend to put so much pressure on ourselves because we want to keep up with what other moms are doing; or seem to be doing on social media. Working moms will spend any free minute they have “making up” the time they spend away from their kids. Stay at home moms’ lives literally revolve around the home and family, so we try to make sure we are “earning our keep” so to speak.

We want to make sure that we are not being out done by our friends on Facebook or we are constantly trying to be as good as our God of a mother…. I seriously will put myself in an early grave trying to be as good of a mom/wife as my mom.

I was reading an honest post of a mom on one of my homeschool groups talking about everything that she has to do every day and asking how we all do it. I commented that I cry a lot in the shower (which is only a small exaggeration) while others expressed sympathy but said they were also barely holding it together. One mom had the “audacity” to say that she actually gives herself free time…. what the hell(lol)?? Other moms were not nice to her and once again WHY????

Why do we as women/moms not allow ourselves to just chill the eff out sometimes? And why would you get upset that someone else ACTUALLY takes care of themselves? Is it just jealousy that you feel you can’t do that or do you not know how.

I forget sometimes to take care of myself, I forget to eat (how am I obese), I forget to shower, I forget to change my clothes, I forget that I am allowed to have emotions, I forget that I was a human before kids and so I am allowed to be a human still. Some of my things are also because of depression, but sometimes they are both.

I can’t tell another mom what to do to relax. But I came up with a list of things I like to do to keep “Bonnie” in my life.

I play Sims. I love that damn video game.

I send my kids to their room for some “mommy time” and I watch movies or TV shows that they can’t watch.

I listen/ read books.

I blog or write… I LOVE TO WRITE.

I craft, so many things.

I plan different things, diets, exercise plans, decorations for whatever holiday, trips that we will probably never take.

I take a shower, shave and yes, sometimes I really do cry.

Sometimes I do nothing. I just sit on the couch and do literally nothing.

These are just some of the things that I do to keep my old self in my new life. I think that it is so important to remember that we are individuals outside of being a mom.

To the wonderful moms that comment on my blog, I always appreciate your opinions and advice. What do you do to keep your mental health? Do you take time our for yourself? Do you sometimes forget?